THE VIEW..ON THE "N" WORD

ABOVE IS THE EPSIODE OF THE VIEW THAT AIRED LAST WEEK ABOUT THE USE OF THE "N" WORD. I SAW THIS EPISODE WHEN IT AIRED BUT FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVEN'T SEEN IT OR HEARD THE BUZZ ABOUT IT IN THE NEWS CHECK IT OUT HERE. I THINK THAT IT IS A VERY POSTIVE THING THAT THESE WOMEN HAD THIS CONVERSATION BECAUSE IT IS A VERY DIFFICULT TOPIC IN WHICH THERE IS NO "RIGHT" ANSWER. I DO BELIEVE THAT IT IS A DIFFICULT TOPIC BECAUSE THE WORD HOLDS SO MUCH POWER. IT WAS EXCEPTIONALLY HARD FOR ELIZABETH HASSLEBACK TO UNDERSTAND WHY AFRICAN AMERICANS USE THIS WORD IF IT CAUSED SO MUCH PAIN. I HAVE HAD THIS CONVERSATION WITH PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT RACES BEFORE AND THEY SHARE THE SAME PROBLEM WITH THE WORD. HOWEVER, I DO THINK THAT AFRICAN AMERICANS KIND OF OWN A RIGHT TO THIS WORD. IT IS VERY HARD TO EXPLAIN BUT I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH CAUCASIANS USING THE WORD. I'M NOT SAYING THAT I AM RIGHT OR POINTING FINGERS AT ANYONE. WATCH WHAT WHOOPI SAYS, SHE KIND OF WRAPS UP THE WAY I FEEL IN A NUTSHELL.

No running with knives!!

Open Wounds

1. This last week has been a weird one, very different. My dad starting feeling ill and the incision from a surgery he had last year started to open up. Equaling major discomfort and stress on all of us. I've been a major homebody because of this and not in the mood to do much of anything. This open wound was the first one of the week.

2. My heart, is the next open wound. Constant wear and tear and improper use of it by the wrong people has caused it to never heal to it's original state.  This wound was opened up by my current situation and the feelings I have gained over the last couple of months, feelings that while being genuine have felt purposeless and without meaning. But due to my abruptness last week I got answers to questions that have been circling my mind for a little while. So I think my heart is in good care right now, with me, while caring for someone.

3. My love, those of you who know me, know who he is. My love, was my first real love,  breath of fresh air, just bangin'. Things went downhill as they do sometimes, first semester of college stress and long distance aiding the separation. Well my love, is no longer going to be far away. My love is now apart of the Temple University community. Yup, he successfully transferred, something I begged for a year ago, BUT everything happens for a reason. 

So this fall will be interesting. A healing, growing and probably hurtful period of time. While I'm trying to take care of my dad, not lose my head in stress, guard my heart from My luv and my love (a distinct difference), enjoy the remainder of Summer '08 without hurting a camper, going to Bing & PR, living & loving. I will definitely be trying to protect my heart, and protect my open wounds to the best of my ability. A band-aid will not be good enough for these wounds.

Love.

Jess

NOT w/ food in your mouth!

Today I've been thinking about the importance of laughter. Despite irritating me beyond words, my campers make me laugh beyond measurement. One camper in an attempt to say "Oooo you said the F word", said the whole word. Even though he slipped up and said the curse word I laughed hysterically at his attempt to censor himself while telling on someone else. Also, the camp director was mapping out how many months until basketball season and said, "You have July October September.." I could not stop laughing! The mere fact that he skipped all the way to October and came back astounded me. I know I've been blessed with the gift of laughing hysterically over nothing sometimes. But I wanted to let everyone know that a simple laugh, can brighten up your day, lift your spirits and just fill you with a sense of happiness. So take some time out of your hectic days filled with work, family, friends and stress and just laugh. Not some lil laugh that doesn't make an impact, but laugh from your gut, until your whole face beams with happiness, and tears well up in your eyes. It does more than serve your body, it serves your soul. It'll be worth it.

Love,

Jess

"LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES"

Hello all, Today was a special day. I completed the book I had been reading called "Other People's Skin". This book was amazing. The book consists of four different stories about African Americans and color lines. It was a real eye opener for me. It showed me that there are so many ways to be color struck. I have the "color" conversation with a good friend of mine all of the time. She calls it the "L.L." factor (light skin and long hair). We talk about those being the two things in the African American community that determine how beautiful a person is. This book is about the racism that exists among people of color. Each story shows a different side of this racism going back to where it originated and what we must do to stop it. When I say "we", I mean all people, not just African Americans. This book is a must read for all people that are about bringing change to this world. It has motivated me to look deep inside myself and ask me what I think is beauty and why? I think the "why" is the most troubling part of the question. Most people can point out something that they think is beautiful but determining what makes us feel this way is difficult. This is my charge to people of all races, colors, and backgrounds to look deep inside yourself and find out who you are and be proud of that. Please go get this book.

~LANA~

SLOW DOWN! CHEW YOUR FOOD PART II {BE SURE TO READ PART 1 BELOW TO UNDERSTAND ;-) }

OKAY, SO I KNOW EVERYONE WAS WORRIED BUT I HAVE GOOD NEWS! I FOUND THE KEYS. I TOOK A BREAK FROM LOOKING FOR THEM IN THE CAR, I SAID A LITTLE PRAYER ASKING GOD TO HELP ME FIND THESE KEYS. ABOUT 2 HOURS LATER I WALKED OUT THE BACK DOOR TO BEGIN MY SEARCH AGAIN AND I DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO THE CAR DOOR BEFORE I SAW A BEAT UP BLACK KEY STARING AT ME FROM THE DASHBOARD. THERE IT WAS. IN THE WINDOW. LAUGHING AT ME. AND SO WERE MY PARENTS. FIGURES. LUCY MCGILLICUDDY AND I ARE LONGTIME FRIENDS.

~LANA~

SLOW DOWN, CHEW YOUR FOOD!

OK SO I NEED TO VENT... A LOT. I AM LEARNING A VALUABLE LESSON. I SAY "LEARNING" BECAUSE IT IS STILL HAPPENING. I THINK GOD IS TRYING TO TELL ME TO SLOW DOWN. I'LL TELL YOU WHY I FEEL THIS WAY. I AM NOT ONE TO BELIEVE IN LUCK BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN GOD. BUT LATELY THINGS HAVEN'T BEEN GOING SO WELL. LAST SUNDAY WHILE RUSHING TO SEE A MOVIE WITH MY BESTIE, I WAS PULLED OVER. YES, ME! PULLED OVER. I HAD NO IDEA WHY THIS OFFICER HAD PULLED ME OVER BUT APPARENTLY I "FAILED TO COME TO A COMPLETE STOP" AT A STOP SIGN. WHEN HE WAS IN HIS CAR WRITING THE TICKET, I THOUGHT "WELL I DO HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH MYSELF I PROBABLY DIDN'T STOP LONG ENOUGH AT THAT STOP SIGN". I PAUSED. LOOKED AROUND, AND KEPT GOING.

I AM AN HONEST PERSON AND THAT IS WHAT I DID, AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY IN COURT. HOWEVER, THE OFFICER WAS NICE (NOT NICE ENOUGH TO LET ME GO WITH A WARNING, BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT) AND HE TOLD ME THAT I SEEMED LIKE A "NICE GIRL" AND WE WOULD "WORK IT OUT" IN COURT. GOD WILLING I WILL JUST HAVE TO PAY A FINE AND NOT GET POINTS ON MY LICENSE.

EXAMPLE NUMBER 2: AND THIS IS VERY RECENT I MEAN LIKE ABOUT AN HOUR AGO, I WAS GETTING OUT OF THE CAR AT A POLICE STATION TO RUN AN ERRAND FOR MY FATHER. HOWEVER, MY BRILLIANT (FOR LACK OF A BETTER SUPERLATIVE) SISTER HAS A NECK CHAIN CONNECTED TO OUR CAR KEYS THAT GETS CAUGHT ON EVERYTHING WHEN YOU HOLD THE KEYS IN YOUR HAND.

BUT ANYWAY I WENT TO GET OUT OF THE CAR, MOVING QUICKLY, AND THE NECK CHAIN GOT CAUGHT ONTO THE EMERGENCY BRAKE AND THE KEY TO THE IGNITION FELL INTO THE CAR. NOW I SAW EXACTLY WHERE IT FELL BUT WHEN I WENT TO PICK IT UP...NO KEY. I SEARCHED THE CAR FOR THIS KEY (IN 90 DEGREE WEATHER) AND STILL COULDN'T FIND IT. I EVEN CALLED TWO OF MY BEST FRIENDS TO COME AND HELP ME LOOK AND NEITHER OF US COULD FIND THIS KEY. THE THING ABOUT IT IS THAT IT HAS TO BE IN THE CAR BECAUSE I DIDN'T GO ANYWHERE AFTER IT DROPPED; I DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE THE CAR. MY BEST FRIEND WHOM I LOVE DEARLY DROVE ME TO MY HOUSE WHICH WAS ONLY A COUPLE BLOCKS AWAY THANK GOD TO GET THE SPARE KEY AND BRING THE CAR HOME. I WILL FIND THIS KEY!!

THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS THAT I NEED TO SLOW DOWN. ALL OF THESE THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH ME MOVING TOO FAST. I THINK I GET THE MESSAGE GOD. THANKS.

P.S. IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO HELP ME SEARCH FOR THE KEY, YOU ARE MORE THAN WELCOME.

~LANA~

Words Feed my soul

-Portion Control-

I'm teetering the line of obesity and indulgence

I've seemed to engulf myself in you.

While trying to limit my intake, I have lost my will to fight.

I rather lose myself in you

To you

For you.

Because the feeling you arouse in me awakens my taste buds

My heart

And my lady parts.

I could either continue to starve myself of your sweetness

Or accept my fate.

To lose myself in your touch

Your smell

And your taste.

Or continue to limit my indulgence

Until I've mastered portion control.

Love.

Jess

I SMELL FISH

CHECK OUT THIS INTERVIEW WITH REV. AL SHARPTON ABOUT JESSE JACKSON'S REMARKS ABOUT OBAMA. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS REPORTER? I'M NOT GONNA ADD MY OPINION JUST YET.I WANNA HEAR FROM YOU GUYS.

HERE'S THE LINK:

http://www.foxnews.com/video/index.html?playerId=videolandingpage&streamingFormat=FLASH&referralObject=2181702&referralPlaylistId=searchdivisive%20remarks

COMFORT FOOD

MARTIN LUTHER KING, ROSA PARKS, HARRIET TUBMAN.
AS we know these are some of the most influential black people that ever walked this green Earth. But I wanted to take the time to highlight some of the names that we don't know right off the top of our heads. There were so many black people who made a way for us to live and who paved the way for many of the greats that we have today and I wanted to highlight some of the folks that are sometimes overlooked. There is a great site called Notable Artists that gives brief biographies of black people who have made great contributions to African Americans and to the world. It really is a great site.
One of these featured greats is Phillis Wheatley. Now, I had never heard of Ms.Wheatley so I am sure that some of you haven't either. Anyway Ms. Wheatley was sold into slavery at the tender age of 8. However, the family she was sold to educated her and she went on to become a published poet. It is very refreshing to know that not all of the slave owners wanted to degrade black people and use them; some of them actually did believe in educating them so that they could aspire and become successful. You can read more of Phillis Wheatley's story at
http://www.biography.com/blackhistory/artists.jsp

~LANA~

Bitter taste in my mouth

This year my 4th is filled with laughs, Catch Phrase and the handsome, talented John Legend. However, I witnessed some people's exploitation of freedom. My friends sat outside of the Art Museum from around 1pm, I didn't get there until 6 (it was my day off I was relaxing). Needless to say we had the best seats in the house, well until the rain came and people rushed us. The rain seemed to not be enough in mere minutes we were in the middle of the crowd. I did not see much of sexy John Legend, but I enjoyed the music extensively, he is even better live. I felt that I had paid for a concert since he sang at least 10 songs, and brought out Estelle who sings "American Boy" ft Kanye West. I love her. Overall I give the 4th an A-. The rain was in the way, umbrellas were all over the place, my hair got handled, but I learned how to play Catch Phrase, and I had great quality time with some of my closest friends. After the concert, I saw how close we were to the stage, we were right there but I felt sooo far away. People celebrated their independence very rudely, I guess in true American, well Philadelphian style. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Love.

Jess

Why choose McDonald's when you can have Filet Mignon?

Today I faced a shocking truth. Today's young, mostly African-American youth could care less about Presidential candidate, Barack Obama and are more interested in the likes of Lil Wayne, Elton Brand and Myspace.com.

I'm spending the month of July working at a Basketball, Computer and Reading camp at my high school. I work in the Computer room, since my basketball skills have vanished, just like my 8th grade style. But back to the topic at hand. I gave one group of kids an assignment, which I do daily. In an attempt to open their eyes to more than basketball and hopes of making the NBA, I am embracing their dreams but trying to show them reality. Reality for them, statistically, is to not graduate high school, let alone go onto to college. Most of them sadly, will end up in jail or living a life of crime. I don't believe in statistics and in my four week time I am trying to show them more than the NBA, more than Myspace.com and show them the great men that are paving the way for them right now like Barack Obama. 

I told a camper to go online and research John McCain and Barack Obama, he responded rudely with "I don't want to look up that crap!". Crap? I responded with a very attitudinal, "That's how you feel? Barack is crap? and what would you rather look up Lil Wayne?" I left no time for response, I had to make an example of it him, and I find myself doing that with each group of campers. I stopped all of them and said, " Is Barack not important to you guys? This man could be the first African-American president, he has already made amazing strides for males and African Americans as a whole, and you say he is crap? I am sorry for you, because you don't know anything about who you are, and what you can become, and instead of being extraordinary you rather be ordinary, a black "ball player" who knows nothing about anything but that."

I leave camp everyday with my cheeks burning, and my face hot. Sometimes I just want to scream because they just don't get it. I have been very privileged and like the other counselors am taking my time out to help them. But you can't always help everyone, most people will never appreciate things or understand. I just hope that in the midst of me screaming or laughing with them, teaching them how to type, or laughing at a missed lay up, they understand that mainstream is not the only stream for them, they do not have to be cookie cutter black males. The have amazing role models dead and alive, and the NBA draft and roster, should not be the only thing they understand. The NBA is not the only way and neither is rap music.

Love.

Jess

MORE POETRY***YEA I'M DEEP

CONFIDENCE

EVERY WOMAN HAS HER NIGHT

WHEN SHE'S THE ONLY THING IN SIGHT

TRAFFIC STOPS AS SHE WALKS BY

CATCHING A GLIMPSE FROM EVERY GUY

HER EYES ARE BRIGHT

HER HEAD HELD HIGH

HER STRUT IS STRONG

WON'T MISS A BEAT

BEAUTIFUL

FROM HEAD TO FEET

A BOLD ONE TRIES TO LOOK IN HER EYES

BUT FADES AWAY LIKE NIGHT TO DAY

SHE DOESN'T MIND HIM

IT EXCITES HER

MOST ARE TOO SCARED TO INVITE HER

THEY USUALLY CRUMBLE UP LIKE SAND

TOO MANY BOYS

SHE NEEDS A MAN

SHE HAD A GOOD ONE ONCE BEFORE

HE HAD TO GO

TOO INSECURE

HE COULDN'T HANDLE HER INDEPENDENCE

FOR HER NAME IS CONFIDENCE

~LANA~